It’s funny how you can go one week without blogging and it feels like you haven’t done it in weeks. Although, if I think about it, I haven’t done it since last year. (Cue awkward canned laughter.)
But, in the spirit of the season, it didn’t really feel like I could go without a year-in-review.
2017 was a year. A year of years for reasons I am having a hard time counting. I thought 2016 was a year full of history, but last year felt like it was full of everything. Highs and lows and things we will be talking about for generations to come.
Personally, it was a very big year for me. So much so that this time last year feels like way more than a year ago. I was in a different place, of course. In a different job but also with what feels like a completely different mindset.
It’s funny that I’m only just realizing how I finally got what I wanted to get out of moving. I left Austin because I had never lived in another place as an adult, and I wanted all the growth and life that happens when you uproot yourself. I thought Atlanta would be that, and it was, in a way, but not in any way I was prepared for. Neither was West Point, now that I think about it. Looking back, they both feel like way stations, like places I was never meant to stay for long, whether I realized it at the time or not.
And now I’m here. And I finally feel like this is what I wanted all along. It’s not been easy, of course, and I’m not really done with the struggle or the growth, I know. But I can’t help but feel that it feels right. This place feels like how I thought moving to a new place would feel. And maybe I just didn’t move to the right place, or maybe it just took every place before this one for me to figure it out.
Like I said, I can’t really enumerate all that happened. I could sit here and list it all out, but it would be inadequate. #CreateLounge and #NaNoWriMo and #YourOwnWay and with all of it the realization that my life, without a lot of planning, has become very hashtaggable. Curious.
But as much as I could talk about the events, in my life and others, I know that the greatest change is what’s happened in me. And even as I realize that I know it’s not done yet. I’ve commented before on how I seem to be becoming someone that would have shocked myself only a few years ago. Even now, I’m becoming more and more that person, and that’s exciting and strange. It’s something I even hesitate to say because I’m not sure I could describe it fully. I’m not sure I yet have the vocabulary to describe it. I’m working on it. I think, strike that, I know it’s going to have a lot to do with my new Core Desired Feelings. Do I hear another blog series coming on? Why, yes, I think I do.
In the end, 2017 was a Year. Hard to say, yet, if it was good or bad. There were certainly some bad parts, but already it feels like all of that is propelling us into something very good. An awakeness to the world around us that can’t help but change it. But it was a year, that is for certain.
And now we are in the beginnings of 2018, and it opens with all the possibility we’ve come to be suspicious about. It’s hard not to be cynical after this year, but I’m finding myself being surprisingly optimistic. 2018 is our year. Like every other year. It holds promise, but it depends on us to do something about it. To plan where we can, to take things as they come where we can’t, but ultimately to decide, here and now, who we are going to be whatever the year may bring.
So, let’s make it good. Shall we?